verticality not horizontality

2006-08-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

unemployeed.

2006-06-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

til 1 pm tomorrow.
i quit my job.
sweet!

i am sam's blog

2006-05-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

i am slooooowly dying

love,
leah

meet piggy.

2006-03-27T18:36:00.000-08:00

ha x2

2006-03-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

ha.

2006-03-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

weekend madness. true.

2006-03-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

okay, so here is rundown.
friday:
st. patty's day.
green beers and haggis.
alex smith reading poems at the lucky cat.

saturday:
brunch time.
laundry time.
dennis' mcnett kills it a kcdc.
cutler and daley age. and get really drunk.

sunday.
cold weather bbq at billy's in nj.

WHAT?!? awesome times.

she's leavin'...

2006-03-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

friday night. march 10th. supreme trading.
because by the 11th she will be gone.

bon voyage baby.
we are gonna miss you.

sometimes its hard to be a woman

2006-02-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

when the boys get to go out and fill their "skulls with whiskey and speed".
i love whiskey.
i could pretend i love speed.
i could just put some socks in my pants next time.

i still have bronchitis.
i am staying the night in bed.
then a busy busy week.
work everyday.
potluck with ann on tuesday.
mugs with benny wednesday.
poker with handsome john and sara on thursday.
when will i sleep?
perhaps i will take some of that speed.
ha.

today i am 24.

2006-02-08T15:25:00.000-08:00

older yes.
wiser, perhaps.
certainly less trusting this week.
here's to 24 being considerably better than 23.

ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet

2006-02-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

today is my last wednesday being 23.
ever.

birthday party instuctions to follow.
save the date.
feb.11th.

this last week has been

2006-01-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

hectic. tiring. drunk. moderatly heart breaking. hard working. hung over. epic.
it was, i guess a fairly nice balance of beautiful wonderful shit and horrible this should never happen again shit.
so all in all, i thnk i am breaking even.

that and my internet isn't working for free anymore.
i promise to post more when i get my shit set up on friday.
including pics from the benefit show.
i love you all.

you know when you girlfriend says...

2006-01-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

"if you loved me you'd do it"?
this is one of those times.
i am not your girlfriend, but if you love me, you will be here.
we don't want to have to get in one of those embarassing drunk in the street fights.
oh wait.
not your girlfriend.
(apologies to girlfriends everywhere, i am bitter)
alright? alright.
i mean look at those two. how could you miss that.
xo
s

MUSIC STARTS AT 7PM SHARP!!!!
SHOW ENDS AT 10pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

weds. jan. 18th.
7pm sharp. ends 10pm.
galapagos.
seven dollars.
70 north 6th st.
williamsburg.
brooklyn.
usa.

benefit concert for friends down in mississippi helping people in need.
people helping people.
makes me smile.

amazing musical performances by:

poor boy johnson and the goddamn rattlesnake. 9PM!
(a hangover waiting to happen.)

leaders. 8PM!
(heavier than space.)

lonesome doves. 7PM!
(like a wedding in a funeral parlor.)

we only have the space for three hours. so come after work. go home early. sleep well knowing you helped someone. somewhere. good people. good music. good times. i can not wait. hope to see you all there. at 7pm. galapagos. yes.

completely yours.

g.d. rattlesnake.

just like you like me.

2006-01-11T14:08:00.000-08:00

i am mute.
or, almost.
having a hard time making words come out.
one on one i am fine.
on the phone i am shit.
yet, peoples keep calling and wanna talk and then they say "what? i can't hear you?"
of course you can't.
my words sound like air.
come over.
then we'll talk.
but i am gonna be asleep early.

in my shell.

2006-01-09T17:31:00.000-08:00

i am sick.
i have been in my bed all day.
come take care of me?
okay?
thanks.

tonight we will be having...

2006-01-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

anything but lobster.
it is NO LOBSTER NIGHT alright?
ya heard me?
anything but lobster!!!!!!!

post script:
i think i am allergic to lobster by the way, since i got sick the last 2 times i ate it. But I think I like it enough that i am not above puking everytime i eat it.

post post script:
ew. sorry.

come inside, come inside.

2006-01-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

my parents took me for breakfast at the indian reservation in florida which wound up being the seminole hard rock hotel and casino.
i got nothin'.

makes me smile.

2006-01-01T19:12:00.000-08:00

i know its a commercial for a tv, but those bouncy balls make me happy.

http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/braviacommhigh.html

new years

2005-12-30T17:28:00.000-08:00

new years.
yes.

see ya 2005. thanks for the good times.

nights before flying

2005-12-27T22:39:00.000-08:00

make me frantic.
nervous.
to awake.

can't sleep.
be back at 3:30.
can't wait.

i miss you like

2005-12-25T07:45:00.000-08:00

slutty high school girls miss their virginity (esp. after takikng a zanax, drinking a couple beers, and sleeping with the entire jv football team.)

i miss you like people people who have undergone gastric bypass surgery miss the taste of food. ( and miss the days when they didn't have to figure out what to do with all the extra skin, eww. what do they do with the skin? tuck it in to their clothes?)

i miss you like people with the d.t.s miss the taste of a martini, rather than just a need for one. ( grandpa that's dedicated to you, see you tommorow)

i miss you like stoners miss getting high without getting tired and falling asleep. (i'm taking a break, so candy bars taste good again.)

i miss you like the deserts miss the rain. ( Shit. i am not ed. i stole that one from a shitty pop song. It is sincere though. i swear.)

see you on the 28th fuckers.

xo
s

flux capacitor.

2005-12-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

i am in florida.
the sun hasn't been out yet.
went to happy hour with my bro and his friend today.
happy hour made me happy.

in the process of booking the benefit show for amy and hands on usa for hurricane relief.
save the date: Jan. 18th, 2006.
2006 felt weird to type.

you say it's your birthday?

2005-12-10T11:36:00.000-08:00

i can't wait.

YAY!!!!
xoxoxoxo

armed and dangerous.

2005-12-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

i am a cockroach killing machine.
armed with flying insect raid.
cockroaches don't fly.
but they certainly die when i douse them in the shit.

xo
s

hey handsome.

2005-12-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

unfurl that brow mister.
although we haven't spent time together lately, i atleast was drinking whiskey and thinking about you drinking whiskey this weekend.
telepathically i felt, we were doing it together.

tommorow hang time.
today a post dedicated to you.

you say it's your birthday..

2005-11-29T14:08:00.000-08:00

happy happy birthday to my big brother jake.
xoxoxoxoxoxo.

i got stoned and i missed it.

2005-11-27T19:13:00.000-08:00

stoned sundays are the best kind of sundays.

nuff said.

home again.

2005-11-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

and in my own comfy toasty bed.

yes.

my five year high school reunion.

2005-11-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

last night i went to the bar with everyone i went to high school with.
for some reason i volunteered to be the designated driver.
shocking, i know.
so, i drove a bunch of the girls i grew up with to a bar called big rock, which was decorated like a lodge, and played the most recent britney spears album on what felt like repeat.
i saw pretty much what felt like everyone i ever knew growing up.
including my high school sweetheart.
which was still akward this may years later.

it felt like i was in a baptist church, because the only words i heard coming out of anyones mouth were "OH MY GOD".
all the boys i grew up with just kept looking at me like, " you aren't used to this anymore are you?"
no. no i am not.

be home tommorow night, in the mean time, enjoy that thanksgiving.

p.s. weird to post without my camera. pictured above is the aformentioned high school. man i do not miss being 16.

let me stand next to your fire.

2005-11-22T19:44:00.000-08:00

i can't do anything but sleep.
my parents furnace broke, and the guy keeps coming everyday to fix it, but to no avail. so it's really cold here in my house, and i keep getting snuggly under comforters and the drifting off.

leah and i are going on an antarctica diet. we are only gonna eat food found in antarctica. yes kids we are talkin' snow. lots of it. i think we will start after thanksgiving though. wait till you see how skinny we get.

being away still feels good, but i bet pretty soon being back will feel better.
miss all five of you dear readers.
xo

p.s- did really just blog about a furnace? yes. yes i did.

i keep a close watch on this heart of mine.

2005-11-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

home again. home again.
but this time it feels good to be back.
i will be back on friday, and then desperatly looking for some steady work.
this freelance shit gives me too much time to think, obssess,and drive myself crazy with the same shit that no one wants to hear about anymore.
moving onwards and upwards (or some dumb shit that is more positive than yesterday's post)

on a positive note, i got an amazing johnny cash box set for super cheap here.
four discs, plus a book.
and i plan on learning how to crochet tonight.
how crafty.

what a shit weekend.

2005-11-20T15:53:00.000-08:00

so glad i am leaving town in the morning.
maybe i will stay gone.

o'death you are coming.

2005-11-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

harmonica in action.

i can't sleep.
i am watching a movie called "patty hearst"
two guesses on what it's about.
i am looking forward to tommorow.
i have that first day of school feeling.
butterflies.

get me away from here i am dying.

2005-11-16T17:16:00.000-08:00

it is nine p.m.
i am still hung over.
whiskey, scotch, beer, beer, whiskey pot.
too too much.
but it was mr. joey royale's bday.
and a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

t is for...

2005-11-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

unibrow?

sheesh.

2005-11-06T08:14:00.000-08:00

here's your damn post kiddies.
not lazy, just busy.
i now have six jobs.
that keeps a girl runnin'.

this man under the bag is a very handsome man.
very handsome indeed.
but, all this picture makes me think about is a conversation with jake the other night. it went like this:

j : "she's got a really hot body, but her face is kind of busted."
s: "so? your not fucking her face"

right now, my weekly cultural recomendation would be to run to the record store and buy "sweetheart of the rodeo" by the byrds. the rattlesnake recommended it and it made this girl happy. i especially love their version of "you ain't goin' nowhere" by bob dylan and also "you don't miss your water". gram parsons, bestill my heart. if i knew how to post songs on here, i would post em both.

xo
s

boo.

2005-11-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

or booyah.

halloween ruled.
thanks to all these kids.
you made it the most awesomest.
we even tied black label in 6 games of dodgeball.
what?!?
tough as nails.

also thanks to mr. tod seelie for snappin' this picture.
a true professional.

its true.

2005-10-30T08:06:00.000-08:00

i have the best girlfriends ever.
thanks for everything last night.
esp. having the best costume ever.

all you need is

2005-10-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

this is a pillow my mama made, back in the day.

halloween soon.
finishing the costumes for my girls tonight.
considerably more work than i had anticipated, but whatever.
its my favorite holiday, so it will certainly be worth it.
although the costume is hardly top secret anymore, no one really has any idea how hot we are gonna be.
ridiculous.

spoke to a.p. for a long time last night.
think i have persuaded him to get his ass back to bk where it belongs.

saw capote last night.
it was amazing.
'in cold blood' was one of my favorite books, and movies of all time.
then later at royal oak, i tried to talk to people about it and wound up scaring them away.
apparently people don't like to talk about books in bars.
these people claim to not even read books.
um, what?

i haven't left my house all day.

2005-10-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

i feel like i am getting sick.
my nose is runny, and everyone else is ill.
i have butterflys in my stomach all the time.
i am way to in my own head right now.
i am thinking too much.
i am frequently on the verge of tears.
i am melodramatic.
i am stir crazy.
i am bored.
my phone doesn't ring.
i am pretty sure i am lonely.

festival express.

2005-10-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

i am drunk.
this movie called festival express is on.
it is incredible.
lost concert footage of the band, grateful dead, and janis joplin.
all my all time favorites in one movie.
what could be better.

really.
i have no idea.

summertime. child the livin is easy.

2005-10-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

so, fall, huh?

today and tonight i will be screenprinting my halloween costume. i can't f'ing wait.
nothing epic has happened recently.
although last night i made awesome turkey burgers with goat cheese and carmalized onions, rosemary olive oil oven fries, and a good big salad with avocado and french feta (not that greek shit).
that filled the hole in my stomach long enough to forget about the one that keeps growing in my heart.
i will try to be happier this week.

it is late.

2005-10-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

i just finished reading "everything is illuminated".
seeing the movie made me need to read the book.
its one of those things right now that i want to put into words and all of the ones i know are escaping me.
this sounds like a horrible review (it is, i know)
but this book has left me speachless, crying, dumbfounded. read it.

it is not a book about an elijah wood character.
it is so much more than that.
it is not some ukrainian ali g.
fuck that depiction.
it is love, loss, beauty, ugliness, truth, lies, and everything.
stay out of the theater.
go to the book store.
don't believe the hype.
just go read it.
okay?

okay?

my hallways...

2005-10-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

always smell like laundry, polish food, and cigarettes. yum.

tonight, i will be bartending at roebling hall chelsea.
26th btwn, 11th and 12th.
more info at roeblinghall.com

the show is good.
the beer is free.
and i will gladly be accepting tips.

xo

my mother always told me...

2005-10-16T01:20:00.000-07:00

never go to bed angry.
i am trying really hard not to.
but its hard.

where you will find me.

2005-10-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

tonight tonight tonight.
brave the rain.
get drunk.
see art.

Paramnesia: The Dawn of ConfussionMaxim Ryazansky and Eliza Cutler and 22 other people you may or may not know.
at pochron studios ( www.pochronstudios.com)
part of the dumbo arts festival.
opening is at 6 pm and it will go til they kick you out.
there will be a lot of free beer and wine.
55 Washington Street. 9th Floor.
btwn Front and Washington.
directions are on the website.

also.
Cannonball Press group show.
featuring the one and only Dennis McNett. (who is the most awesomest)
also Maya Hayuk (who rules).
and lots lots more.
at supreme trading.
starting i think at 7 and going late also.

be there or be square kids.
xo.
s

mitten state.

2005-10-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

joey royale.

2005-10-05T22:47:00.000-07:00

told ya so.
here's your update.

xo

today in television.

2005-10-02T20:47:00.001-07:00

today i watched two interesting television programs.

one- Archie- a program about a two year old that weights eighty four pounds. he has a rare disorder that only two other people in the world have. he isn't fat. he is just big boned. or something.

two- 168lb Tumor- a program about, you guessed it, a woman with a tumor that weighs more than i do. this one was too gross to actually get through, and all i could think was why this woman waited so long to get this thing checked out.

thanks to everyone who keeps calling to invite me places, or let me know how much fun you are having all the time. you better be ready to have some more when i get back (like that is ever the problem)
two more days and counting.

oh and wednesday, you better put on your drinking shoes, because that, my friends, is what is going down.

xo

get me away from here i am dying.

2005-10-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

i miss you.
i love you.
i can't wait to be back in your arms.

any of your arms.
i will be home wednesday and i can't wait.

currently...

2005-09-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

that nose is filled with snot.
i always spend the changing of the seasons so ill.
i have a cough.
and a cold.
and it stinks.

but tommorow i am going to my parents house, and my mom can take care of me.
yay!

its a hand me down.

2005-09-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

the thoughts are broken.
perhaps they are better left unsung.

i got nothing still.
but here is max's neck.

and she said, you don't think you could love me but i feel you could.

2005-09-21T08:47:00.000-07:00

i am not sure why i even have this blog.
atleast a'yen likes it.
(i hope)

stoned again.

2005-09-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

and stoned again.

the worst that can happen is they tell you no.

2005-09-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

so last night was the show in pam's backyard.
the neighbors got pissed.
yelled.
threw pots of water.
a short guy spit in the rattlesnake's face.

so i made some phone calls.
got the show moved to union pool.
ryan the bartender with the beard totally hooked us up.

poorboy johnson(pictured above in a tree) and the goddamn rattlesnake, featuring crozier, were amazing as always.
even if they weren't my friends, i would go to all their shows.
and always listen to their album.

the two gallants rocked it.
it was sweaty and hot and perfect.
they thanked me a bunch of times, which was totally unnecessary, because i would do that shit any time for how much fun everyone had.

i think i may start doing that all the time.
just calling bars and asking if we can do whatever there.
shows.
theather productions.
orgies.
whatevers.

i am the new suckapants.

2005-09-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

sorry tod.
we just wanted to make you jealous that you missed the camping trip.
we took a picture pretending you were there.

and ps.
how hot is this girl?
yowza.

love is all you need.

2005-09-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

mellow yellow.

2005-09-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

got a nice email from andrea this weekend.
italy sounds good.
and i will be trying my damnedest to get there in may.

the other fine lady in yellow is the ever talented pamela lynn baker miller reed junior.
who will be hosting a lovely show at her apartment to benefit nothing but a good time.
come on out and see:

poorboy johnson and the goddman rattlesnake.
and
the two gallants. all the way from san fran.
with the possibility of special guest preformances.

maujer and union.
brooklyn, ny. 11206.
g or l to metropolitan.lormier.
thursday the 15th of september.
8pm ish.

camping!

2005-09-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

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CAMPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things people say.

2005-09-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

last night leaving max fish i heard someone say "i don't really like led zepplin anymore. the radiostation in my town does this thing called 'get the led out' and like everyone likes them".

i mean really what the shit.
you stop liking led zepplin because they are popular?
their popularity is a new thing?

stoops.

TONIGHT!!!!!

2005-08-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

tonight! tod's opening!
We are pleased to announce BROOKLYN SHAKERS at Wooster Arts Space in Soho, a group exhibition featuring painting and photography by Jaishri Abichandani, Eric Ayotte, Lisa di Donato, Jon Elliott, Gwenessa Lam, Tod Seelie and curated by Kathleen Smith.
August 31 - October 1.

Please join us Wednesday, August 31, from 6 to 8 pm, for the artist's reception at 147 Wooster Street between Houston and Prince Streets, 212-777-6338.

Afterparty @ Mangiami, 9 Stanton Street, between Bowery and Chrystie. Appetizers provided. Cash only bar. Djs spinning.

(stolen from antleredlife.com)

field day.

2005-08-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

so eliza and i were talking this afternoon.

i mentioned how i wanted to organize a game of red rover.
she mentioned how she wanted to play capture the flag.
i decided we should have an early fall field day.

we could play tug of war too.

what do you think?
we would get permits from the park.
and try to get sparks or somebody to sponser it.
i think it could rule.

let me know what you think.
xo
s

the past five days...

2005-08-30T00:20:00.000-07:00

have been insane.
too much booze.
too much fun.
and too much thinking.

this is what i have realized.
i am such a lucky lucky girl.
i have so many amazing and wonderful friends in my life that i love so much and i would do anything for.
i also have allowed myself to get involved with too many people recently who do not deserve that loyalty.
from here on out, they are no longer a part of my life.
i will say hi to you if i see you on the street, a rooftop, a party, a bar, wherever.
but you are not a friend anymore.
you are nothing.
i have let so many people take advantage of me and it stops now.
i am toughenin' up.
so look out. because i never forget anything.
ever.
and i rarely forgive those who have wronged me.

on a side note.
tonight, i rode across the williamburg bridge for the first time ever.
rode to the city for the first time ever actually.
(embarassing i know)
miss eliza cutler let me ride her bike which was the sweetest ever.
she is definitly not on the shit list.

also other side note:
my mom got me new mocassins.
they are red.
she mailed them to me.
i wore them tonight.
my feet are red.
i just took a shower.
it won't come off.
my feet are a mess.
broken and red.

the beauty of not having a hangover.

2005-08-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

it makes you do things like clean the shit out of your bedroom.
it was much messier than when this photo was taken.
(is that possible?)
i now have another giant bag of clothes to donate to charity.
and more laundry to do than even imaginable.
and things to dry clean.
which i haven't done in literly years.

ah sobriety.
it is a beautiful thing.

every once in a while.

this weekend however was not one of those times.
free vodka on a boat.
backyard and rooftop debauchary with antlers, zipco, pam, q , brad, eliza, pendy, and others.
more more more rooftop debauchary with gddamn rattlesnake, poorboy johnson, matt and kim, and menaguar providing the soundtrack.
really hungover bagels with antlers.
and sunday night meat night with pam and leah.
what could be better.

dear sparks.

2005-08-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

i hate you.
you made me think you were fun.
you were not fun.
you made me crazy like.
then crazy hungover.
i had to eat a steak because of you.

actually the steak ruled.
but you still suck.

fuck you free sparks.
you were a bad idea.
especially that diet one.

i hate you.

more boobs.

2005-08-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

dear russ pizza.

2005-08-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

you make the best eggplant parmigana sandwich ever.
for only four dollars.
it is lunch and dinner and possibly even breakfast the next day.
i love you.

when your liver hates you.

2005-08-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

one day i am afraid i am gonna wake up and my liver is going to be sore.

or angry.
and start yellilng.

how i roll.

2005-08-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

new jersey swimming pool cliff diving.
best photo assisting gig to date.
oh and those are my nipples.
all photos by the lovely and talented dana loia.

fuck.

2005-08-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

i am so bored.

blogging from the bathroom.

2005-08-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

its not what you think.
i have a sick view of this thunderstorm.

i am in such a weird mood tonight.
i just saw "happy endings" with dana, her sister, and her friend monique.
i am not sure what i thought of it.
although i am pretty sure i liked it.

i just think i have a lot to figure out right now.

TONIGHT!!!!!

2005-08-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

dear myspace. (part2)

2005-08-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

i am not strong enough.
i am back.

it's a lot like that time i tried to stop drinking.

workin' it.

2005-08-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

today i stop working on my tan.
and start my new illustrious career as a babysitter.

five years of college really helps you go places.

think i may go to kill whitie afterwards, since its in my hood tonight.
booyah.

five days to work. one more day to play.

2005-08-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

dear myspace.

2005-08-08T13:42:00.000-07:00

it's over.
thanks for nothing.

xo
sam

guilty.

2005-08-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

like a fat kid loves cake.

2005-08-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

i love these two.

ass shaking, drunk, good times last night with these two.
everyone was talking all day today about antlers moves.
(although i spent most of my day hungover and sleeping.)
seriously.
best dancer i know.

roadtrip nation guys are in town right now.
which is always a funny good time.
although they are only here for business.

yesterday during the day was the best photo assisting gig i have had yet.
the lovely dana loia and i hung out, took pictures of models at a mansion.
and then, stripped down to our skivies and cliff jumped into a pool.
(pictures to follow)

it is 6:54 am.

2005-08-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

and i am going to work.
life sucks.

grey skies are gonna clear up...

2005-08-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

today zipco and i saw our second free movie in a row,
then zipco got a free cookie.
free. free. free.
awesome.

tonight, i am thinking about checking out coco66.
it is around the corner from my house basically.
poorboy johnson and the gd rattlesnake will be at the apocolypse lounge.
and this awesome band united states is playing at n. 6th.
really too much.

i may just stay home, as i have to be at work tommorow at 7:30am.
that's not funemployment at all.

ciao for now.

giant pussy.

2005-08-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

that's all i got right now.
i am hungover again.

i think i may buy stock in gatorade.

slipping up.

2005-08-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

i keep pretending that i am grown up.
and then i let myself slip into the same dumb mistakes over and over again.

a.p once told me that people treat interpersonal relationships like the judicial system, "innocent until proven guilty" when it should be the other way around. everyone should stay guilty until they prove themselves otherwise.

your fucking guilty.
and i feel stupid.
and that's all for now (after i polished off more than a half a bottle of wine home alone tonight.)

a dog named after a neil young song.

2005-08-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

i am dog sitting for cortez(the killer) right now. (see above)
we are funemployed together.
he is always funemployed.
he is a dog.

cortez the killer

He came dancing across the water
With his galleons and guns
Looking for the new world
In that palace in the sun.

On the shore lay Montezuma
With his coca leaves and pearls
In his halls he often wondered
With the secrets of the worlds.

And his subjects
gathered 'round him
Like the leaves around a tree
In their clothes of many colors
For the angry gods to see.

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood
straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.

Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.

They carried them
to the flatlands
And they died along the way
But they built up
with their bare hands
What we still can't do today.

And I know she's living there
And she loves me to this day
I still can't remember when
Or how I lost my way.

He came dancing across the water
Cortez, Cortez
What a killer.

moving daze.

2005-08-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

i spent a good chunk of my weekend helping people move.
tom and leah to be exact.
for 12 hours on saturday.

jake and tom had my car all weekend to do the moving.
but i don't care.
i am just so excited that they moved less than a block away from me.

the boys from across the street however moved out.
and that mean cortez moved out too. (pictured above)
which is a bummer.

and tommorow, in the last of the moving news, mr. suckapants leaves us for the sunny shores of rio.
so jealous.

bubba.

2005-07-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

my brother is the coolest.

also the coolest was last night.
saw matt and kim rock hard with pammy and little miss tooth decay.
then went to savalas with pam and met up with doug (and later the sucka)
and danced our asses off.
and broke tons of glasses on the floor.
and humped doug against a wall.
but its okay because he likes boys.
and sucka took pictures.
and i am nervous to see them.
and thats all for now.

tonight i am cooking salmon with a spinch pesto, a michigan salad, potato salad with proscitto and gingerblueberry cake with sauce.

yum.

third verse different from the first.

2005-07-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

so i went to no awesome shows in lic parking lots.
but the night before that i went to an awesome show at crewtonz house of god.
negative creep was the best fake band i have ever seen.
i however could not take to many pictures, as entire beers were sprayed over the audience throught their whole set.
they covered the ramones and later the misfits and they put a huge smile on my face.
also thought, i just love max.
so there.

also at that show i got probably the drunkest i have been in a long time.
drunk and aggresive.
and zipco, i still know where you live, you can keep sleeping with one eye open.

haha.

tonight i am going to see matt and kim with miss antlers and mr. zipco.
yeaH!!!

90 degrees in the shade.

2005-07-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes when it's this hot, i try to sweat like a dog.
through my tounge.

it doesn't work.

work sucks.

2005-07-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

spending my whole weekend in low budget burlesque shows sucked.
tons of old and scary or fat and scary women with backne and pasties.

hanging out with leah today (whose 'i love you' necklace and dangly gold earrings are pictured above) however, ruled.
man i missed that girl.

i got this crazy email from my grandparents about mars being really close to the earth at the end of august.
i think i am going to have a space party in honor of it.
i am already having my mom mail me my brothers old jumpsuit from space camp.
i will serve mars bars and space cakes.

if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times, the future is weird.

air conditoner mania.

2005-07-21T17:12:00.000-07:00

when i got back from being home, my air conditoner was broken.
it turned on, but then spit out warm air non stop.

today tom p. went with me to get a new one.
but the brick that balanced my old one was too big.
so then we went on a mission for bricks and scrap plywood for about two hours.
it culminated in tom going into a woodshop around the corner from my house, making friends with a guy called cisco, and getting some wood cut for us for free.

my new airconditer is quiet.
and 6 degrees colder than my old one.
i am so excited i could stop sweating or something.

thats all for now.

expl ORAL tory

2005-07-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

i am home.
i had my exploratory surgery.
my mouth hurts.
i have stitches and a weird bandage thing in it.
i can not eat hard food for the next two weeks.
i have vicodin.

thats all.

xo
s

i said goddamn.

2005-07-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

TONIGHTTONIGHTTONIGHTTONIGHT
(from the goddamn rattlesnake)

Knitting Factory
72 LEONARD ST.
MANHATTAN. NYC.
7:30PM $7
POORBOY JOHNSON & THE GODDAMN RATTLESNAKE
CABINET OF NATURAL CURIOSTIES
THE FESTIVAL
KINCAID

we are playing at the knitting factory. the tap room. i am excited. you should be too. come by and tell me how excited you are. we are gonna sound awesome because everyone sounds awesome at the knitting factory. its their thing. man.

oh. yeah.

i'll be there. i am blogging this from the airport terminal right now. the future is weird.

everybody's goin' out and havin' fun...i'm a fool for stayin' home and havin' none.

2005-07-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

last night, my best friend from high school's older sister got married. weird to think how old we are getting. the sister we used to annoy the shit out of is now married, and ready to have kids of her own. weird, weird, weird. weddings are awesome though for many reasons. here is a list i have compiled thus far.

1. cover bands. not only do they do that usher jam from last summer that you are still thinking about, but they will do a medley of songs from Grease, the musical. genius.

2. open bars. open bars are awesome in ny, when you and all your broke friends get wasted for free in under an hour. but open bars at weddings last all night. and you get wasted with people's grandparents. awesome.

3. getting dressed up. i felt like i real lady. i almost even put on panty hose. that shit is serious. i haven't gotten dressed up like i was last night since my senior prom. more than five years ago. i think we should all get dressed up more often. who's down? prom party at my house? black tie?

and so far that's all i can think of.
besides that i have been chillin'. i got new glasses, with a new perscription so i can see when i drive. i saw charlie and the chocolate factory, where i was the oldest person in the theater, besides the parents that brought their five year olds.

i will be back tommorow afternoon.
then i will go see the goddamn rattlesnake and poor boy johnson do their thing at the knitting factory.
i have missed you all dearly and am excited to be back.

xoxoxo

slums may well be breeding grounds of crime, but middle class suburbs are incubators of apathy and delirium.-cyril connely

2005-07-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

i have it all figured out now. i have not been sleeping well since i left ny. i thought that it was just because it was s rough few weeks before i left and i was trying to get myself back in order. but i think the truth of the matter is that the suburbs fuck with me now. i drive at night, and it is so dark i can barely see. i get in bed, and the central air conditioning is blasting, and it quiet. the air conditioner, the street, the world around me. i used to think i would miss that silence, but right now i am missing my street sweeper, and my garbage man, and my loud ass window air condititioner that makes it hard to think when it is on. they were markers of time, the garbage man around 6, the street sweeper around 8. i don't know where i am going with this. it's just quiet.

on another note. yesterday, i bought and read the new novel by James Frey. I read the whole damn thing in one day. his first novel, A Million Little Pieces, was the same thing. read all 300 odd pages in a day. it's his memoirs on his road to sobreity, and there's something about the way he writes that you just can't put it down. his new book is called My Friend Leonard. if you want to borrow it, let me know. he's also lindsey lohan's favorite author, and it that's not a glowing recomendation i don't know what is.

seems like there is a lot fun stuff going on there in brooklyn this weekend. try not to miss me too much. i'll be home around 11 on monday night.

turns out, i am actually fat.

2005-07-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

and i just ate a blizzard at the dairy queen bitches.

being away feels good. but it reminds me why i live there, and not here. although i am thinking about petitioning the dairy queen to open up some shit. like on my block. or in my room. whatever.

**photo courtesy of the dairy queen, bitches.

turns out, i may not actually be fat.

2005-07-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

so my mom (pictured above) made me a doctors appointment for 9 am this morning. it appears i have a goiter on my thyroid. (in laymans terms, growth on gland) it has gotten larger since my mom last checked it. so evidentally i may not be chubby. i may just have a thyroid problem. which to me sounds a lot like being "big boned". whatever.

home is weird. its strange when you notice the place you grew up isn't your idea of "home" anymore. my bed felt like i was sleeping in a weird hotel. i opened all the drawers in my room, and don't recognize any of the things as being mine. perhaps though that is because my grandparents now use my closet to store their winter clothes.

the great lakes state welcomes me.

2005-07-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

i am going home for a week tommorow morning.
i don't know what my internet situation will be there.
i will try to update this.
that way both of you (the two people max. who read this) will know what i am doing.

we can get coffee when i get home.

i promised

2005-07-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

to post while drunk, so here i am.

i lost everyone i was hanging out with tonight, but for a solid open bar hour, things were amazing.
everyone i loved in one tiny room at royal oak.

sucka and i talked tonight about how i have given him a totally false impression of me.
granted, he thought i was a whore (only the good kind, with self respect ya know?)
but regardless, i think i may have proved him wrong.

now i must go put the giant beer that i just remember was in my purse into my fridge, so i can drink it tommorow.

thats all for now.

i hear montreal is lovely this time of year.

2005-07-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

when the shit really hits the fan, we could run away to canada.

washingtonpost.com
Supreme Court Speculation Fuels Rumors
By GINA HOLLAND
The Associated Press
Friday, July 8, 2005; 5:04 PM

WASHINGTON -- The Supreme Court pulsed with retirement speculation Friday, with rumors focusing first on the ailing chief justice, then the oldest member, and even the tiniest justice.

The buzz came one week after Justice Sandra Day O'Connor's decision to step down, giving the court its first vacancy in more than a decade.

The 80-year-old chief, William H. Rehnquist, has thyroid cancer. And though he's been working full-time at the court, he's noticeably frailer and it's widely thought he will step down.

Many court observers believed that because of O'Connor's announcement he would wait until this week to make the announcement. Speculation intensified as the week wore on.

TV news crews and an Associated Press photographer waited in pelting rain for three hours Friday morning for Rehnquist to emerge from his suburban Virginia town house. He eventually did, but said nothing, smiling as he ambled by, gripping an ornate cane.

The press room at the Supreme Court was filled, a rarity during a time when the court is not in session. And the rumors flew.

E-mails to reporters from various groups speculated when Rehnquist would make an announcement, and also speculated about other possibilities.

Justice John Paul Stevens, who is 85 and healthy, may be going, the speculation went. Stevens is the court's liberal leader and would seem an unlikely prospect with a Republican in the White House and GOP-controlled Senate.

He also has already started hiring law clerks to work for him in 2006-07. That could be a sign that he's sticking around for a while. Or that he's sneaky and wants to keep reporters off his trail.

Next came hints that the real retirement would be that of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the petite opera lover President Clinton put on the bench in 1993.

Ginsburg and O'Connor are the only two female justices in history. Ginsburg, who stands about 5-feet tall, had issued a statement last week lamenting the retirement of her sister justice, saying she "will sorely miss her support and guidance."

Supreme Court officials had no news for reporters about Rehnquist, Stevens or Ginsburg.

But that didn't keep the reporters from asking. Every move in and out of the public information office was tracked. Routine paperwork deliveries held prospects of being a retirement letter for the president.

On the Drudge Report, the headline was "Media on standby after growing reports Supreme Court Chief Justice Rehnquist is handing in his resignation ... DEVELOPING."

"Bizarre," said David Garrow, a Supreme Court historian at Emory University. "Feeding frenzy is overused, but it certainly fits."

When no Rehnquist announcement had come by late morning, new speculation started that the White House had asked the chief justice to delay making public a decision until Bush returned from an overseas trip.

At a Federalist Society luncheon across town, the future of the court was the major subject. Former Solicitor General Theodore Olson was introduced to a crowded ballroom as someone on the short list of potential nominees. "That list that you were talking about is a lot longer than you think," Olson quipped.

Meantime, the chief justice continued his public silence. Rehnquist, a widower who lives alone, didn't pause Friday when asked if the retirement speculation was true.

"I would bet Rehnquist is thinking it would be demeaning to the office of chief justice to put out a press release saying `I'm not retiring this summer,'" Garrow said.

___

On the Net:

Rehnquist biographies:

http://straylight.law.cornell.edu/supct/justices/rehnquist.bio.html

the other downside to a hangover.

2005-07-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

i drank too much.
i woke up late.
i made pancakes.
i hung around.
i avoided all media until 4pm.
to find out the world is blowing up again.

its scary.

as if you didn't already know.

2005-07-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

tonight!
the deitch projects
76 grand street.
at wooster.

SWOON.

with performances by matt and kim and the goddamn rattlesnake.
6-9.
amazing art.
amazing bands.
amazingness abound.